God Gave Me a Brain and a Big Mouth, or: The Feminism of Stephanie

I called my parents tonight and spent some time on the phone with my father (a very important detail, as you will soon see). He informed me that he had found something online that I should read, but warned me that it might make my blood boil. That something was a post on Wade Burleson’s blog (note: Wade Burleson DOES NOT make my blood boil, FYI). I’ll let you, gentle readers, take in the meat of what Rev. Burleson was discussing. I wish to take my own thoughts in a different direction—what it means to be a strong, independent, Christian woman.

One of the people referenced in this blog entry of Rev. Burleson’s is Doug Phillips of Vision Forum. Phillips’ “vision” is one of “Biblical” patriarchy—and I use the term “Biblical” very, very loosely. Simply put, Phillips believes that men are the head of the woman in marriage in every way. Here is a synopsis of what Phillips thinks and what I think about his views (or in some cases, how I would obviously be a heretic to him).

1. Women are called by God to serve their patriarchs (fathers) until married when they will then serve their husbands.

· If you were to ask my father (the very same who suggested that all of this nonsense would make my blood boil), I think you would find that he feels his job as a parent was to equip me with the tools (morals, education, etc.) to be a successful, intelligent, productive member of society. Once that was done, he and my mother (from whom I learned much about not taking crap off of anyone…SINNER!!) kicked me out of the nest, confident that I could make my own way in the world. Translation: I, in my condo in Waco, TX, am the head of my household. Okay, that’s a lie. My cat, Sassy (also female…once *GASP*) is the head of the household, but I’m the one who pays the bills. My father is no longer my head. I’m not sure he ever REALLY was. You see, my parents raised me to be an independent thinker. I need neither their permission nor their forgiveness to act on my own behalf. I alone am responsible for my actions. That does not stop me from asking them for advice, nor does it mean that I don’t want their approval of my choices in life. I just don’t believe it is necessary for me, a 25 year-old woman, to ask mommy and daddy for permission to…I don’t know, go to Egypt for a year, maybe.

2. Women are not to speak in a church setting, but are to ask their husbands any questions they may have and remain silent in the presence of men.

· First of all, you all must realize that until recently, the church I am a member of was the largest Baptist congregation with a female senior pastor. Now, granted, I started attending Calvary Baptist Church after Julie Pennington-Russell left to pastor First Baptist, Decatur, GA, but the church she left behind is as spiritually vibrant and alive with the love of Christ as any church I have ever darkened the door of, and she was largely responsible for that. Secondly, while I could speak at length about context in Biblical passages (I know, I know, context is a four-letter-word to fundamentalists like Phillips), I won’t because that’s not my area of expertise. I will say however, that the first creation account in Genesis (6-days, etc.) states that God created male and female at the same time. Furthermore, before painting Paul a misogynist, one might want to consider the problems of temple prostitutes, fertility cults, and early Gnostics which the churches in Corinth and Ephesus had to contend with at the time Paul was writing to those churches—and to Timothy. Also keep in mind the pattern of the Pauline epistles: where there was too much freedom, Paul preached restraint (Corinth and Ephesus), and where there was too much legalism, Paul preached freedom (Galatia). Context…right next to Godliness….

3. Women are not to work outside the home for any income, but are to be housewives and homemakers within the home.

· Shall I expound upon my belief about women and work…and everything else for that matter? Of course, I shall. It’s my blog, after all. Here it is: God blessed me with a brain and a big mouth. If he didn’t want me to use either, he would have blessed me with neither. How am I respecting the blessings God has bestowed upon me by placing them under a bushel basket, rather than letting them shine for all the world to see? I have been blessed with intellect, passion, and opportunity to pursue my life’s ambitions. Should I just turn my back on those blessings, thumb my nose at God and say, “No thanks?” I don’t think so. My parents taught me that. They also taught me that I have an obligation to share what I know about Islam (yes, a heretic AND an infidel. God have mercy on my soul) with others so as to clear up stereotypes. This leads us nicely to…

4. Women are never to teach a man anything, but are to learn from men in a quiet and submissive spirit.

· Let me be blunt (yeah, I know. Like I haven’t been blunt thus far). I know more about Islam, specifically Islamism and jihadism than a very large portion of Americans. I study this stuff. It’s my life’s work. I can quote Sayyid Qutb, Osama bin Laden, and a whole host of other interesting characters. I can explain how Egyptian Arab Socialism gave rise to the popularity of the Muslim Brotherhood and its more radical offshoots. I can give a timeline of the formation of al Qaeda from the Afghan jihad to the present. This is important information. And if people ask (not just women, men too), then I have an obligation to explain what’s going on in the world to those who ask in a way that is accessible and as fair and balanced as I can make it. That means I teach men plenty. And I’m completely unrepentant about it.

5. Women cannot have communion unless given to them by their husband or, in the case of an absent husband, an elder from a 'normative' family or, in rare cases, a mother can be served be her son if he (the son) is old enough to walk and carry the host and is present in worship with her.

· Well, considering that we took communion this morning at Calvary Baptist Church (intinction, by the way), and not only did I take it for myself, but I received communion from two women, we’ll just walk away from this one.

6. Women are to cover their heads as a sign of their 'submission' to their husbands and to God.

· It should be noted that this is not a tenet of Phillips’ theology, but Bruce Ware, a professor at the Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville. And it’s a stupid, stupid thing to argue about. Just as it is in Islam. If you want to, do it. If not, don’t. End of story.

7. Women are not to attend a university or any institution of higher learning for the purpose of pursuing a career.

· Another one I’ll walk away from. I’m currently sitting in my office where two degrees from institutions of higher learning are proudly displayed while studying for my PhD.

8. Women are not to vote, but are to let their husbands speak for them.

· On the contrary, my parents (especially my mother…that crazy sinner) have told me repeatedly that should I choose to shirk my duty as a responsible citizen, I also forfeit my privilege to complain about the outcome.

9. Women are never, for any reason, to use birth control.

· You know, it’s funny. I always thought that a woman’s choice to use birth control was between her doctor and her…husbands also count, just not for me because I’m still single. You see, my doctor and I decided that because my menstrual cramps were downright incapacitating, the Pill was the way to go. And reading this is the first my father knows of that decision. Know why? Because it’s none of his business. Well, and also because he doesn’t really want to know. Ignorance is bliss for my dad when it comes to female problems. See? Didn’t consult him. Don’t care what his opinion is (no offense, Dad). When a man has to deal with the multitude of reasons a woman can choose to use birth control, then he may comment. If the woman is his wife, he may comment, but ultimately, the decision is the woman’s in consultation with her doctor, especially if the Pill is being used for medical purposes and not contraceptive purposes.

Correction: It has come to my attention that my father did, indeed, know about my female problems. Nevertheless, that does not change the fact that the decision to start on the Pill was none of his business and he wasn't consulted.

10. Women are to respond to abuse in a quiet, gentle and submissive spirit.

· Okay, ladies, listen up. Abuse is about power. Submission to power only exacerbates the problem. Abuse should not be dealt with quietly or submissively. As for gently, let me say that should a man abuse you physically, you should insert your knee gently into his groin until he cries like a baby. Then you should kick him to the curb. Should a man abuse you emotionally or mentally, you should tell him that he is NOT allowed to talk to you that way, then gently tell him not to let the door hit him in the butt on the way out the door. See? Nothing quiet or submissive about that.